I can't give up
by BlackRoseApocalyps
Summary: Takes place between 'Just a Girl' and 'Fighting Destiny', Marianne's reflecting on how she evolved from the naïve girl to who she now COMPLETE


Disclaimer: Don't own X-Men, I own in this story Marianne/Fantasy, Michael/Gun, Tank, Ben/Nova and Sarah/Gaia. Don't own this song either, Duck and Run from 3 Doors Down.  
  
A/N: heard this song when I was at a friend's place. I figure it could be something for a short one-shot. This takes place between Just a Girl and Fighting Destiny  
  
.  
  
I can't give up  
  
//To this world I'm unimportant just  
  
Because I have nothing to fear  
  
So you call this your free country  
  
Tell me why it costs so much to live  
  
Tell me why then\\  
  
.  
  
I just let myself slide down the sterile walls of the hospital-wing, my hospital–wing. I figure the look of defeat on my face is clearly visible and I am glad I that am alone. One of the leaders breaking down is not good for moral. But who would boost my moral?  
  
It just keeps getting harder and harder. I don't know anymore, everyday is a battle. A battle for our survival. They say this is America, the land of golden opportunities, what they forgot to put in the advertisement is that when you're a mutant they'd rather have you not exist.  
  
.  
  
//This world can turn me down  
  
But I won't turn away, oh no  
  
I won't turn around \\  
  
.  
  
They just keep telling us that we don't belong, that we were freaks, the monsters. Did mutants take human children prisoner to experiment upon? As if they were less then lab-rats? O, we could so easily wipe them all out, we could so easily erase the threat to our existance, but we don't. Sure, we have our rotten apples, but we try to make sure that even those are no threats to humans. More then they do.  
  
.  
  
//All my work and endless measures  
  
Never seem to get me very far  
  
Walk a mile just to move an inch  
  
Now even though I'm trying so damn hard  
  
I'm trying so hard\\  
  
.  
  
I get up, trying to shake of those dark thoughts, but they are coming into my mind more and more often. It's no surprise, actually, if you see what we all face every day. We're scared, scared for tomorrow, scared for having to go into another lab and finding out what horrors these haters could come up with this time. I've only been inside such a lab one time, before I became part of Underground, I almost didn't make it out.  
  
.  
  
//This world can turn me down  
  
But I won't turn away  
  
And I won't duck and run,  
  
'Cause I'm not built that way  
  
When everything has gone  
  
There is nothing left to fear  
  
This world cannot bring me down  
  
No 'cause I'm already here. oh no!\\  
  
.  
  
They think they can just erase our existence, they think if they kill every single mutant they know, mutilate them, torment them, we will just disappear. Not likely. More and more mutants are manifesting their powers. One day, there will only be mutants, and not because we killed humanity, but because humanity had followed us in evolution. They can't erase what's already here, and we're here.  
  
.  
  
//I am already here,  
  
Down on my knees  
  
I am already here, oh no,  
  
I am already here  
  
I must have told you  
  
A thousand times  
  
I am not running away\\  
  
.  
  
They think they can beat us down onto our knees, have us submit to them, don't they realise that our spirits are just as free as they claim themselves to be? That even if the beat us down face into the earth, we will always rise and always stand up for our rights? For our damned right to be alive and not have to fear them?  
  
It's funny. We have the powers, we are the further evolved and yet WE fear THEM. We have weapons in our genes, we have the means to potect ourselves, and even if a mutant doesn't have the ability to use his or her powers in defending themselves. There will always be another one who will stand up for them. Be it X-Men, Brotherhood, Acolyte or Underground. We all fight for survival, our ultimate goal is the same: mutants being able to live without fear, but the means, never has there been such disagreement in the means. The X-Men and Underground, we want to do this through diplomacy, humans and mutants equal. The Brotherhood and Acolytes, I believe they have given up on that dream.  
  
The X-Men, I was one of them, I am one of the Underground now. They are still my friends, I still care as much for them as when I did when I still lived with them, when I still was just Marianne, just a girl. Now, I'm a doctor in an Underground base, I'm the woman who has killed using her power, I am the woman who fights for mutants in her hospital, for their sanity and survival when they are brought to me. But with every battle, I lose a little of my believe in the dream. No, I'm no longer just Marianne.  
  
.  
  
//I won't duck and run  
  
I won't duck and run  
  
I won't duck and run  
  
No I pass away\\  
  
.  
  
Still, I can't give up. I'll cry tears or blood, I'll throw myself off of a clif, I'll even kill before I give up. I'm no longer naïve, I know that the dream we all strife to achieve will get people hurt, people killed. I'm not a fool, and I know myself. I know that if the FOH invades our safehouse, I won't hesitate to use my gift in the most lethal way possible if it is to protect those who have sought refuge here.  
  
No, giving up is not something for me, I'll do anything to achieve this dream, because even though I lose faith in the dream, I know it's possible. My brother Devon, he's proof of it. He's human and still loves me all the same, he even became more protective of me after my mutation surfaced.  
  
.  
  
//This world can turn me down  
  
but I won't turn away  
  
And I won't duck and run,  
  
'Cause I'm not built that way  
  
When everything has gone  
  
There is nothing left to fear  
  
This world cannot bring me down  
  
No 'cause I'm already here.\\  
  
.  
  
The FOH, they are the creation of those who fear us. Fear turned to hate, hate will turn to rage and I pray that that rage won't turn into a bloodbath, a massacre. They'll try to burn us out of existnce, pretend we never existed. They'll fail. With the birth of the first mutant, our existence was a fact, and even when they'll think we're gone, we will still be here. Maybe not me, but there will always be mutants.  
  
.  
  
//This world can turn me down  
  
But I won't turn away  
  
And I won't duck and run,  
  
'Cause I'm not built that way  
  
When everything has gone  
  
There is nothing left to fear  
  
This world cannot bring me down  
  
No 'cause I'm already here.\\  
  
"Marianne, Michael is coming back with the team, they're bringing wounded, you're needed," I hear Sarah's voice on the other side of the door. There is no longer time for my doubts and insecurities, they need Marianne, the doctor. 


End file.
